More Complicated Than Necessary
by Twilit Smash Nova
Summary: Post Star Fox 64/Lylat Wars. Falco and Slippy have become stranded on Venom and to return to the Great Fox they'll have to 'borrow' some Venomian ships without their cover being blown. But nothing will be as simple as it should be, and some Venomian remnants have a plan of their own! Chapter 5: The three begin work on the simulator, as the imposters make themselves comfortable...
1. Invisible Jammers

**Author's Note: I don't really remember anymore how I thought this up, but I had been wanting to write something with Slippy as one of the main characters because as far as I've seen there are relatively few, compared to the other Star Fox characters.  
**

**This is my first proper shot at anything under 'Humor' so I have no idea how this is going to play out... Any feedback would be nice!  
**

* * *

"Slippy, you've got one on your tail."

Falco Lombardi watched in exasperation as Slippy tried futilely to shake the bogey that was pursuing him.

"Well, if you're not busy- which I can see you're not- then HELP ME!" Slippy's high voice screeched over the comm, making Falco's skull vibrate.

"Stop screaming and I'll help," Falco snapped. "…Maybe," he added, getting comfortable in his Arwing by propping his feet up onto the control panel and leaning back, wings behind his head.

"Do something!"

Falco jerked to attention as Slippy's Arwing began heading into a collision course with his own.

"What the heck are ya doin'?!" Falco yelled as he steered out of the way of the toad, sliding cleanly over the aircraft and the enemy ship.

"You're not doing ANYTHING!" Slippy shouted. "This guy won't leave me alone!"

"_Fine_."

Falco relocated the two ships on the radar, boosted up behind the Venomian ship and blasted it to pieces, faster than Peppy could have ever said "DO A BARREL ROLL!"

"Happy now?" Falco asked, extremely ticked off by Slippy's piloting skills… or lack of. He knew he shouldn't have been too surprised, though that made his feathers bristle in annoyance all the more.

Slippy didn't reply.

"Hey Frog-face, ya don't have to be antisocial with me."

Then he realised that the comm line had been cut.

_What in Lylat…?_

He looked out of the cockpit to find Slippy's Arwing slowly but surely descending towards the Venomian surface below.

"Slippy, what're ya doing?" the bird exclaimed as he tried in vain to re-activate the communications.

They didn't spark; not even erupt into the usual static.

Falco looked towards the ground below on a whim, and nearly jumped at how close it had gotten.

"What's goin' on?" he yelled to no one in particular, maybe except for himself.

He could only come to one conclusion: the Arwings were malfunctioning.

The blue-feathered bird frantically checked all the monitors and systems that were supposed to be displayed on the panel.

The shields were down.

The power was out.

The numbers on the altimeter were black.

He glanced towards the back of the ship. The thrusters were dead.

"How did this happen?" Falco muttered angrily as he tweaked with all the buttons and levers on the panel, to no avail.

_Shoot._

He searched for Slippy again, to see that the frog had also lost altitude.

As his gaze swept the flanks of his Arwing, he had a hopeful brainwave.

_What about the big blues?_

He reached out for the G-Diffusers' lever, and gently eased it forward. The Arwing seemed to slow its fall ever so slightly. He sank into his seat for a moment in relief.

_At least there's nothing wrong with the G-Diffusers._

He looked again at Slippy. The toad's Arwing appeared to be sinking faster than Falco's.

_Oh, no! But he's the technical genius, he should know about the G-Diffusers._

Falco watched Slippy's Arwing impatiently, hoping that the amphibian inside had remembered the emergency 'brakes'. Even if he despised the frog's relatively atrocious piloting skills, he wasn't cold hearted… not that much, and Falco knew it.

"Come on, Slip…"

Then the other Arwing finally slowed, and Falco's ship overtook Slippy's.

Falco was the first to land on the Venomian soil. As he approached the ground he braced himself for the impact.

The Arwing shuddered violently as it contacted the surface. Falco was shaken around like a rag doll, to his chagrin.

"Crap!" he squawked.

Then the world around him ceased quaking and the bird was given an opportunity to realign the rocks inside his head.

He never got the chance, because the ship shook once again as something landed nearly on top of it.

He could nearly hear the voice replaying in his head. "Incoming!" Slippy would have said, if the comm line hadn't been dead.

Like the rest of both ships.

When Falco finally got sick of the rumbling, he looked at the thing that had tried to crush him.

"Slippy?! Learn to steer!" Falco cried furiously, then realised that the frog couldn't hear him from inside the cockpit. He grunted in frustration as he spotted a humongous crack in the glass. No good for space flight.

_Dang it!_

Falco emerged from his Arwing, having to shove open the cockpit because none of the Andross-forsaken controls were working, save for the G-Diffusers. The blue compartments had only suffered a ding in the metal and a scratch in the paint job here and there.

He jumped down onto the planet's surface and observed the mess of scrap metal before him. Both Arwings were smoking in places, and one of Falco's ship's wings had been mangled and almost completely detached. Any parts behind Falco's cockpit were lodged underneath the fuselage of Slippy's Arwing.

_Well, this is a barrel of laughs._

"Slip, get outta there," Falco yelled.

There was no movement for a while. Just before the bird was about to yell again, a confused-looking Slippy Toad clambered out of his cockpit, falling face first into the dirt in the process as he attempted to jump down from a wing.

Slippy swore in a rather out-of-character fashion under his breath, before lifting himself off the ground.

"What did ya do with the Arwings this time?" Falco asked accusingly, crossing his arms and staring at the shorter frog with an annoyed expression.

_Sure, go ahead and ignore that near-death experience,_ Slippy thought sourly. "I didn't make the Arwings malfunction!" he argued.

"Oh really. Then who did?"

"I have no idea! It could have been some sort of eternal interference for all I know, birdbrain."

Falco was about to retort, but stopped. Maybe Slippy actually didn't do anything.

"There might have been radio waves or a jammer of some sort," Slippy continued, a lot calmer by now. "This is _Venom_, you know."

They both took in their surroundings.

"Some 'uninhabitable planet', huh," Falco remarked. "Then why are we not being choked by toxic gases or melting from contact with corrosive substances?"

"Probably because there are no 'toxic gases or corrosive substances'," Slippy replied matter-of-factly.

The two took sideways glances at each other. "Andross?" they said in unison. Everyone in the System probably knew that the (now) dead monkey had been a maniacal scientist. From eyewitness accounts (namely, Fox) Andross had been mutated somehow, more than likely by his own hand. It was highly probable that he had done something to his home planet as well.

To be specific, trying to terra-form it.

However it seemed to be a failed experiment, never going as far as creating a place for plants to grow; only leeching the harmful stuff out of it, rendering it _barren_.

"Oi, you's there!"

The two teammates froze, turning to the direction the strange voice had come from.

"Someone must have seen us go down!" Slippy squeaked.

"Shut it, Frog-face," Falco hissed as they spotted a lone Venomian soldier coming towards them.

"Who are you's?" the Venomian yelled, a primate like most of the rest of the army. His accent was odd, almost amusing.

"What's it to you?" Falco said back, just as loudly.

"Falco, what are you doing?" Slippy whispered urgently. "How do we know this guy doesn't have reinforcements?"

Falco shot him a look that said, "_Doesn't matter_," and turned back to the monkey.

"Fer all I know, ye might be spies or somethin' fer that Cornerian excuse fer an army!" the soldier said menacingly, approaching the two.

"What if I said we weren't?" Falco asked slyly. It was a white lie, and Falco and Slippy knew it. Technically, mercenaries such as themselves weren't part of the army.

"Well, then I'd take ye fer interrogation, or just shoot ye if I felt like it." The monkey brandished a blaster, then cast a glance at the two ruined Arwings. "What's that mess ye've got there, eh?" He then saw a red symbol on the side of one of the wreckages. "Hey, isn't that the Star Fo-"

There was a flurry of movement, and the primate fell to the ground, out cold.

"If in doubt, knock 'em out," Falco said as he brushed off his wings.

"Sure, sure. Nice piece of advice," Slippy muttered, frowning at the unconscious soldier slumped on the ground. "So what are you going to do with him?"

Falco dragged the limp monkey over to the wreckage of their Arwings, and slid him underneath the shattered wing of his ship.

"No one will ever know." He leaned against the fuselage of his ship.

Slippy suddenly dropped to his knees. "We can't get back to the Great Fox like this," he said mournfully.

*.*.*.*.*

"I knew I should have gone with them."

Fox McCloud strode back and forth anxiously around the bridge of the Great Fox.

"If anything went wrong they would have sent a distress signal," Peppy debated.

"But what would have happened if the signal got intercepted? What if there are jammers down there and they've been downed, and we don't even know it? Barrel rolling isn't going to help them now!" Fox ranted, flailing his arms in the air. "I don't even know how I came to the decision of not going with them."

"They're top pilots… as long as Falco's babysitting Slippy's six. Anyway…" The older rabbit was thoughtful. "You could try a somersault...?"

Fox nearly smacked Peppy in the face right there and then.

*.*.*.*.*

"What are ya, mad?!"

Falco stared wide-eyed and angrily at the clueless toad as they walked towards a giant metal dome, a Venomian base.

"I didn't do anything!" Slippy moaned.

"Exactly! You think you can run in there with that thing on? It's basically like saying: 'We're Star Fox!' It's suicide!"

"What we're doing now is suicide," Slippy snapped back. "…What are you talking about?"

Falco groaned and rolled his eyes. He yanked at Slippy's jacket and asked: "What do you think this means?" He motioned towards the material in his grasp.

"It's our crest."

"Yeah! Would you like to show that off to the monkeys?"

Then it dawned on Slippy. "So what do you want me to do about it?"

The blue bird face-palmed. "You're hopeless…" he mumbled.

"But doesn't yours have it too?"

"I already got rid of my crest." Falco twirled around, and almost fell over. He showed off the back of his flight jacket. It was blank where the Star Fox symbol should have been.

"Alright," Slippy said, not hiding his dismay. "I'll get rid of it."

He pulled at the crest several times. Falco was becoming ticked, but before he could reach out to do it himself, the frog finally ripped off the red crest and chucked it away to the side.

"Tada."

"Thank you. Now we can waltz in there and they'll think _twice_ before decapitating us," said Falco, giving Slippy a sarcastic pat on the back.

"Yeah," Slippy muttered. "It wasn't my idea to strut into Andross' leftover minions. So what ideas do you have, Owl?"

Falco struggled not to whack Slippy in irritation. "We're gonna get in there, pretend we're new cadets, then break outta there with shiny new ships. We'll fly all the way home and live happily ever after."

"So how much of that are we going to actually do?" Slippy looked at him expectantly, wanting an explanation before both of them got themselves stuck in some sort of inescapable rut.

Falco abruptly tugged Slippy behind a conveniently placed rock, away from any intrusive Venomian eyes.

The bird was suddenly very serious. Slippy was secretly relieved that Falco was no longer being a jerk.

"What I'm thinking is," Falco began. "We'll get in there and pretend we're new arrivals for the Venomian army. We'll get the inside story and blend in as best as we can before we escape… maybe even do some reconnaissance while we're there. When we get the chance, we'll 'borrow' some ships and make a break to the Great Fox and hope we don't get caught out."

"That sounds like a plan," Slippy mused, having not seen this cunning and calculating side of Falco before. "So when you say 'borrow' ships you mean _hijack_, am I correct?"

"Duh."

"… Let's do it!"

Falco blinked at Slippy's change of heart, then mentally shrugged. "… Just don't do anything retarded, alright?"

He pulled Slippy out from behind the rock again, and they continued towards the base.


	2. Generic Venomians

It was not long before the duo was intercepted by three Venomian guards.

"What'cha guys doin' 'ere?" one of the monkeys barked at the two.

"We're new here," Falco replied, giving off a fake '_I'm not so sure about this_' tone. "Joinin' the army. New cadets, we are." He clumsily slung his arm around Slippy and almost toppled both of them to the ground.

The amphibian gave him a look that said '_Is this completely necessary?_'

The pheasant replied with a expression that said '_Necessary? I'm just having a little fun_.'

"What're your names?" the second guard asked, brandishing his blaster in their faces.

Falco opened his beak, but was silent for a long moment

"…I'm… Tori." He paused awkwardly. "… And this is Baka." He nudged Slippy in the ribs.

Slippy shot him an annoyed look that screamed '_What sort of name is that_?'

He was answered with a '_Just go with it_' look.

"Tori?" the third Venomian inquired. "Doesn't that mean something in another language?"

"Yeah," the second guard agreed. "Russian or somethin'?"

The third guard bonked him on the noggin. "No, you retard! Isn't it French? I'm pretty sure it means 'bird' in French."

It was the second guard's turn to whack the other's head. "No it isn't, genius! It's gotta be Arabic."

The two guards continued to brawl and bicker as the first Venomian stepped back from the two. "They're always like this," he whispered to Falco and Slippy.

"What was that?" the third monkey exclaimed. The second punched him in the gut.

"Shoot-"

"-You're carcass is mine-"

"-What's the big idea-"

"-You're making me mad!"

The other three shook their heads as the two soldiers fought.

"Leave 'em," the first Venomian said to Falco and Slippy. "Just go in. If you're not who ya say you are, them guys on the inside will take care o' ya." He gestured towards the base's entrance with a shooing motion.

Slippy tensed but tried to dismiss the feeling of apprehension.

"'Kay," Falco said, then lead the way into the large metal dome.

Miraculously, the duo made it through the entrance without being interrupted by any more Venomians.

They took in their surroundings.

Well, they tried to, but they were bowled over by a soldier carrying several- empty boxes? The boxes weren't heavy at all as they rained down on all three of their heads, burying them in cardboard.

Falco and Slippy overheard the Venomian curse brazenly as they shoved the boxes off each other. One clipped Slippy on the head.

"Watch where you throw those things," Slippy complained, mentally debating on whether to chuck a box in Falco's face in retaliation.

"Watch where ye throw yerself!"

The Venomian stood angrily above the other two who were still on the ground. "Ye's looking fer a fight?"

Slippy shot him a surprised look. "What? No!"

"Well, keep doin' that and yer asking fer trouble, you lot," the Venomian continued and puffed out his chest in a failed attempt to look intimidating. "Now get outta here before I call meh buddies. Yer not in Kansas anymore." He bent down to recollect his scattered boxes, roughly nudging Falco and Slippy to make them go away.

"Fine, fine," Falco muttered. He got to his feet, pulling Slippy with him and they fled from the potentially dangerous soldier and his hoard of cardboard.

They stopped to the side of the corridor, where Slippy began to talk. "Kansas?" he said. "Where in Lylat is that?"

"You tell me," Falco snapped. "You're meant to be the genius here."

"But tell me this: what made you think of the name 'Baka'? It's ridiculous!"

Falco stared blankly at the frog for a moment. "Uh... I think it means 'stupid'."

"In what language?"

"...Ya know what? I don't even know."

An awkward silence ensued as Slippy kept frowning at Falco in annoyance.

"But I do know somethin'," Falco whispered. "I think these Venomian creeps are a little generic."

"How so?"

"Remember the first guy we saw? He was all 'if yer Star Fox I'll blast yer head off!' And then that other mob, they were like that too... initially.

"Then this guy with all the boxen- I mean- boxes shows up and wants to get into a fight with us."

"So basically you mean they give us a death threat and send us on our way two seconds later?"

"Pretty much-"

"-Hey!"

The two teammates turned to face the voice. Another Venomian soldier coming was their way.

"Let's see if your theory hold up," Slippy quipped.

The soldier appeared to be a lupine, though Falco and Slippy weren't so sure because their visitor donned an opaque helmet. Ashen, pointed ears protruded from the top of the Venomian's headgear.

"Greetings, fellow Lylatians," the helmeted wolf said, his voice somewhat muffled. "You seem to be new guys, am I right?"

His addressees nodded slowly.

"Well, you're going to have to state your identity and explain your purpose here, otherwise I'll have to exterminate you on the spot."

Slippy cringed. "Really?" he whimpered.

"No."

Slippy let out an audible sigh while Falco glowered at the wolf.

However, the wolf was not fazed at all. "Got'cha! I was just kidding around."

"Haha, very funny," Falco said. "Get outta here and get yourself a job as a comedian."

"Oh, you're so kind," the grey wolf replied, playing along. "I'll think about it."

"Just don't make your small brain explode from an overload of intelligence."

"Excuse me!" The wolf crossed his arms and was about to make a smart remark- well, he thought it was smart- but he thought the better of it. "So you're new here?"

The bird and the frog blinked, before Slippy said: "Yes."

"What are your names?"

"I'm Sli-"

"-Baka," Falco spoke over the top of the frog. "He's Baka, and I'm Tori."

"Hm," said the wolf. "Aren't they words in another language?"

"No, that's nonsen-"

"I think it's from German. No wait, Italian?"

"NO," Falco shouted firmly, not wanting the Venomian to keep rambling on incoherently. "Tori. Baka. End of story," he continued, making overly enthusiastic hand gestures and almost poking Slippy in the eye.

"No, it's not the end of the story," the soldier cut in, finally removing his helmet to reveal a lupine face. "Are you pilots or what?"

"Yeah," Slippy answered. "Where are the ships?"

Falco shot him a frantic '_Too fast, tiger!_' look, not wanting to blow their cover or hint at anything.

"Whoa, too fast tiger," the wolf said. "You're going to have to take a tour of this place at the very least, or get yourself registered."

Slippy and Falco exchanged nervous looks. "Registered?" they asked in unison.

"Nah, you don't really have to. Ever since the Lylat Wars everything's gotten disorganised and there are soldiers going AWOL all the time. That's what you get when the Emperor is the only guy in the whole army with an IQ above 50. So when he's dead..." Here the smoke-coloured wolf made a decapitating motion.

"That sounds messier than Baka's room when he's been working on something for days on end," Falco remarked. The wolf smirked as Slippy smacked the avian's arm.

"Heh, nice to know." The wolf paused. "You a mechanic?" he inquired Slippy.

"Oui."

"What?"

"Yes."

The lupine frowned for a moment before continuing. "I'm a little technological myself, but I wouldn't call myself an ace pilot. Or a klutz, either."

"So are we going on a tour of this dump?" Falco interrupted. "I'd like to see what stuff they have rigged up here... or what remains of it."

"Oh, right." The wolf swiftly donned his helmet once again, miraculously avoiding catching any appendages on it. "Let's get going."

The Venomian began to lead the way through the base's corridors with the two teammates trailing behind. "My name's Kain, by the way," he called to the two dawdlers.

Falco and Slippy dawdled for a little longer to have a quick private exchange.

"So Venomian soldiers are generic, huh," Slippy said cynically. "This guy doesn't seem so. I won the bet."

Falco shook his head. "...What bet?"

*.*.*.*.*

The sound of heavy footfalls on the hard floor reverberated through the Venomian corridors as a shadow moved loudly but quickly to his destination. He needed to rendezvous with his collaborative partner of the experiment really soon, not only to get everything done on time, but also to keep his accomplice from getting ticked.

The mercenary was careful not to drop the precious device that was cradled in his arms as he rounded several corners and hurdled over a few stray containers on the ground.

_Sheesh, they need to clean this rubbish heap up one day,_ he thought in irritation. He finally reached his assigned location: an old laboratory.

"I've been waiting for you," an obscured figure proclaimed evilly. "I'm glad you were able to make it." The absence of light prevented either of the shadows from making out each other's faces.

"Cut the crap, Max," the new arrival snapped as he reached out to turn on the lights, lightly tapping a glowing panel on the adjacent wall. The room became bathed in a weak, white light that flickered sporadically.

"Calm your farm, Dexter," the other crooned, a raven who was leaning back on a bench. "Why so serious?"

"You were the one who insisted on getting this done 'quickly, professionally and without a hitch'," Dexter snarled, quoting his partner in crime. His fluffed-up tail twitched in annoyance.

"Relax, doggy," Max said, patting his canine friend on the head and taking the device from Dexter's grip. "Let's just get on with this, okay?"

"That's how I've always wanted it."

Max rolled his eyes and turned his back on the canine Dexter for a minute, laying the piece of technology on the bench and examining it.

"Good work with keeping this thing in working condition AND without anyone noticing," Max muttered as he looked over the gimmick.

Dexter remained silent but narrowed his eyes. "Why did you want me to babysit this junk?" he asked. "You could have just held on to it yourself the entire time Do you know what a pain this was to keep away from the other idiots? They're so persistent!"

"Because of a plot hole."

"Say what?"

"Because I had to control the jammers."

"Oh, right." Dexter's foul mood lifted slightly. "You done with that?"

"Yep," Max said as he twirled around to face his accomplice. "We're ready to roll. Do you have our ships ready for takeoff?"

"Affirmative," Dexter said, giving the raven a clumsy, fake salute. "The area was cleared last time I checked."

"Good," Max rubbed his hands together and adjusted the communicator wrapped around his head. He then picked up the enigmatic device off the bench and walked over and turned off the lights.

The duo began creeping their way though the labyrinth of a base in the darkness.

*.*.*.*.*

* * *

**A/N: Ack, worked through my writer's block for about half of this chapter and I think it's gone now 8D. I think I cut down on the humour in this chapter so I hope this wasn't too disappointing.**


	3. Flipping and Flying

"Are you sure this will work?"

"I'm sure."

"How are you sure?"

"I AM SURE. There, I DID NOT use a contraction. Happy?"

The two pilots in their respective Venomian ships quarreled over the comm line as they made their way through the black void that was outer space. One of the ships trailed slightly behind the other and was sporadically pulling off unnecessary manoeuvres, while the leading ship kept travelling in a straight line.

"No, I'm not happy," the trailing pilot hissed. "Have you thought this through? Why do I trust you?" The husky in the cockpit rapped his paw on the console anxiously.

The raven in the other ship sighed. "I have planned this out well enough. Get in there, do what we're meant to do and get out. Deal with anything that gets in our way in the quickest way possible."

"That doesn't sound like much of a plan."

"You got any ideas, _Andross_?"

Silence ensued on the other end of the comm line.

"Just as I thought." The dark bird stretched before reaching out and holding his half of the small, rectangular device the duo had brought with them. "And to answer your second question: the reason you trust me is because you don't know any better and I'm smarter than you."

"Oh really?"

"Make up your own mind on that one."

The husky was silent once more as the raven continued to look over the gimmick.

"What are you doing?" the husky asked. He had overheard the tinny clunks the metal box in the bird's grasp made.

"Making sure this thing works."

The husky threw his ship into a barrel roll. "You should have done that at the base!" he cried angrily.

"Quiet, you." The raven turned the device right-side-up and pushed a blinking, green button.

The husky pricked his ears at the sound of a loud humming on the raven's end of the comm. He righted his ship and stared into his partner's cockpit with disbelieving eyes.

"It worked!" he yelled into the radio. "It _freaking_ worked. Look at yourself!"

The other pilot that had once possessed the appearance of a raven looked down at what used to be his wings. What he saw was delightful, yet unnerving at the same time.

"I look like Slippy Toad!" the raven-frog exclaimed, throwing his now green arms into the air and accidentally banging his hands on the cockpit windshield. "Ow, dang it!"

"Let me at it!"

"Alright, hang on a minute. Wait, don't you have your half of the box? I gave it to you before we left."

"Oh, right."

The canine fumbled as he reached down to his feet and picked up a similar device in his paw. He revolved it for a moment, observing it at all angles before pressing a flickering, blue button.

The raven-frog watched his comrade's transformation. After a dazzle of light he remarked: "You look quite feather-some, _Falco Lombardi_."

"Why thank you, _Frog-face_," the husky-bird replied courteously. Inwardly he was as excited as his friend had been when he had transformed, though he was trying to contain himself.

For what reason... he didn't really know. Self-satisfaction, maybe?

"Destination visible on the radar," the raven with Slippy's appearance reported, abruptly shutting off the husky-bird's train of thought.

His accompliced with Falco's appearance inhaled deeply. "Ready for this, Max?"

"Whenever you're not, Dexter."

Dexter frowned at Max through the cockpit windscreen, before they both set their eyes on the dreadnaught in the distance.

*.*.*.*.*

"Those are some big guns," Slippy squeaked as Kain paraded through the corridor. The frog and the pheasant followed behind, taking in the many details of the Venomian base. Slippy anxiously watched several soldiers walk past. He couldn't help but feel that one of them might point their weapons at him.

"Why, thank you," Kain said, flexing his arms in an overly-exaggerated fashion.

"Not _those_ guns!"

"...Awww."

The trio continued down the corridor, Slippy trying to stop himself from shying away from every armed Venomian that passed, Falco anxious to see the aircraft hangar, if there was one, and Kain looking a little idiotic.

"Do ya fly much?" Falco asked the leading wolf.

"No," Kain replied, not hiding his sadness. "There's usually not much going on around here, aside from the higher ranks trying to round up the strays. If this keeps up much longer, I think I'm going to die of boredom."

"Why don't you resign?"

The lupine was silent for a moment, glancing at Falco and Slippy twice over. "You know, you two look like those Star Fox pilots."

"R-really?" Slippy stuttered, keeping himself as calm as possible. "But of course, we're not them."

Kain suddenly wheeled around, grabbing the two new 'recruits' and pulling them behind a metal container to the side of the hall. Slippy's eyes widened in surprise and Falco had assumed a displeased expression.

"I shouldn't say this here," he said, just louder than a whisper. "But I really look up to that team."

"Ya mean Star Fox?" Falco said, his expression dissolving.

"Yep. I mean, they basically took out an entire army by themselves! That's four on _thousands_; talk about amazing."

The avian prevented a grin from creeping across his beak.

"It would be even cooler if I was ever a match for them. They're ace pilots and I'm not much more than a rookie. To be able to down them would be awesome!"

Falco shifted uneasily as Slippy next to him looked away to hide his horrified expression.

"I wouldn't want to kill them, though. I doubt I could bring myself to do that. Anyway, it would send the authorities on my tail and I would be royally screwed."

The three remained silent, different types of thoughts running rampant in their heads.

"So," Falco sighed. "Where's the hangar?"

"You want to fly already?" the ash-coloured wolf asked. "You're eager. Are you even able to? You're new and everything."

"Don't worry. Sli- Baka and I have had a lot o' practice." Falco smirked at Slippy.

"You don't say?" Kain donned an imaginary thinking cap before an imaginary light bulb went off above his head. "Why don't we have a dogfight, get a little excitement around here?"

"Are we allowed?" Slippy wondered.

"Technically, we're not. But there's been very little law enforcement recently, so I don't think anyone will mind if we take the ships for a spin."

"Then count me in!" Falco exclaimed, whacking his wing dangerously close to Slippy's eye.

*.*.*.*.*

_This is definitely no Arwing, but it's good enough._

Falco shot under Slippy's ship in an attempt to faze the frog and impress Kain, who was in a third Venomian fighter. The bird overheard Slippy yell in surprise.

The trio had eventually navigated themselves to the spacious aircraft hangar of the base, where they had found some ships to use. Kain had boarded his own while the two Star Fox teammates had jumped into another two identical ships.

"They're not anyone's in particular," the wolf had assured them.

Once the westward take-off ramp had cleared, they had shot into the Venomian sky and flown to a far-off, relatively unoccupied and unsupervised area of the base's airspace to commence their battle.

Back in the present, the lupine watched the pair in interest, surveying their piloting skills.

"Nice moves you've got there, Tori," Kain complimented through the comm line, pulling a somersault in response to Falco's circus act.

"I know," Falco smirked as he began tailing Slippy, causing the frog to lose his temper.

"Go away!" the frog cried, steering his ship in an erratic pattern, however failing to shake the ace pilot.

Suddenly, Falco was assaulted by a barrage of plasma shots. "What in Lylat?!"

"Happy birthday," Kain grinned evilly through his cockpit windscreen.

"Oh, ya wanna fight?" Falco pulled a u-turn and flew into a collision course with Kain. The Venomian let out a _yipe_ and swerved out of the way almost immediately.

"Chicken?" the avian taunted, to Kain's chagrin.

"You," the Venomian began. He pulled his ship into a sharp left turn, until he was in pursuit of Falco. "Are looking a little _fried_ yourself!" He shot at Falco again, who was caught off guard by Kain's joke.

"Why you little," the blue-feathered pilot descended and slammed on the brakes, letting Kain fly straight past.

"Never give up, trust your instincts!" Slippy said, not directly addressing either of the two.

"My instincts tell me you're toast!" Falco quipped, keeping on Kain's six and delivering a volley of shots that equaled Kain's two attacks. The wolf shouted angrily and Falco was about to retort when his ship rattled again.

Falco heard Slippy's sly laughter on his end of the comm line.

"Take that!" Slippy chortled. The avian looked back to see him in hot pursuit. "How do you like some of your own medicine?"

"It's wonderful," Falco replied, tight-beaked and obviously fuming. He swooped low and weaved through some rocky Venomian landforms. To his dismay, when he emerged, the other two were still following him.

"Is the little chicken cranky?" Kain remarked, slowing down to fly alongside the ace pilot. He began making exaggerated angry faces at Falco. "Wah wah wah!"

Slippy resolved the problem by shooting at him too.

"Hey, I have a wife and kids to feed!" Kain complained, pulling a u-turn to tail the other two. "Just kidding." He returned the frog's favour, however unintentionally busting one of Slippy's wings. "...Oops."

"Ya break it, ya buy it," Falco teased, watching the scorched, distorted metal plummet towards the ground.

"Oh, no," Slippy screamed as his ship began tilting to the right. "We're in deep trouble now!" He became hell-bent on keeping his ship stable.

"Yeah," Kain muttered worriedly. "I'm not paying for that."

"Me neither, and I'm guessin' Frog-face here won't either," Falco said. "How 'bout we return to the base and leave the ships as soon as we can, assuming nobody is lookin'."

"That's one way to go around it."

"So, what are the other ways?"

"I'm not the smart one here! Hey Baka, you alright?"

"I've been worse," Slippy grunted, his ship narrowly shaving a craggy land form. "Let's get out of here real soon. I can't keep this up forever."

"Just don't go crash-landing on Titania, 'kay?" Falco sighed, then slammed his beak shut with a wing. _So discreet, birdbrain._

"Titania?" Kain inquired innocently. "Why there?"

"...N-Nothing."

*.*.*.*.*

The trio returned to the hangar, relieved to see that it was completely empty.

"Let's get out of here before somebody notices," Slippy hissed frantically as they disembarked the ships. In his haste, he overstepped the fighter's good wing and his face met the floor.

"_Real_ smooth," Kain smirked, stooping over the frog to make sure he was fine.

"Hurry up," Falco snapped, tapping his foot on the ground impatiently and itching to get out of the immediate vicinity as quickly as possible.

Slippy heaved himself up off the floor and straightened his cap. The thing had somehow remained stuck to the top of his cranium the entire time he and Falco had been on Venom.

Suddenly, Kain pricked his ears and froze on the spot, glaring at the corridor across the room they had been about to enter.

"Somebody's coming," he growled under his breath, shooting a frantic look at Falco and Slippy.

"Shoot!" Falco could hear the echoing footsteps that were gradually growing louder.

"Go hide." The wolf leapt up and over the nearest Venomian fighter and disappeared behind a heap of abandoned ship parts. Falco and Slippy stumbled over to a shipping container nearby and slid underneath it, holding their breath anxiously as the new person made his presence known.

"Helloooo," the newcomer called. "Is anyone in here?"

The pheasant and the frog shifted closer to get a better look. The soldier was a snow leopard, and he looked rather high-ranking. His uniform was different to the others that they had seen; darker in colour but with brighter highlights and small articles that reflected the light at certain angles.

"Aaa-" Falco opened his mouth but caught his breath before he went any further. Slippy hurriedly clamped his hand over Falco's beak.

"Don't sneeze now!" he whispered urgently.

Falco scowled at him to say _'I've got this under control_.'

Slippy replied with an _'if you say so'_ expression before releasing his grip on the bird's beak.

The leopard strode around the hangar a little, before moving to a far end of the space, well away from the trio's escape route.

"C'mon," Falco commanded, dragging Slippy out from their hiding place and making a break for the corridor as quickly and quietly as they could. Kain followed shortly afterwards, keeping a careful eye on the cat as they finally exited the aircraft hangar.

After they had retreated a few metres into the hall, they stopped and leaned against the hard wall.

"That was too close for comfort," Kain remarked in relief.

Falco and Slippy couldn't agree more.

"The guy doesn't seem too bright," Slippy said. "Shouldn't he have noticed the ship right about no-"

"-WHAT IN BLAZES? What idiot took this thing for a freaking joyride? When I find out who did this, I'm gonna send your sorry butts into oblivion or worse!"

The snow leopard's cry echoed through the hangar and the hall for a second longer, before the troublesome trio looked at each other.

"We gotta get outta here," Falco muttered.

They made a mad dash down the corridor of the base.

* * *

**A/N: Wow, it's been a long time since I updated this D: Hopefully you won't have to wait that long before the next update! This story is not my main focus at the moment, my SSB story ****_Space and Time Cannot Divide_**** is currently my top priority since I have deadlines for that thing.**

**Meh, I don't really know about this chapter. A little plot progression, but the humour was my original focus when I first began writing this fanfic. Either way, feedback is appreciated but not entirely necessary :D**


	4. Seeing Red

"UNIDENTIFIED VESSELS APPROACHING GREAT FOX AT SEVEN O' CLOCK," ROB 64 blared suddenly.

Fox, who had been half-asleep in his chair, jerked awake at the sound of the monotonic holler. He grumbled under his breath before yelling, "Give me some warning or else I'll actually _fall_ out of my chair the next time you do that!"

"You're still anxious about Falco and Slippy, aren't you?" Peppy blurted, seeming to appear out of nowhere right next to the vulpine, but had actually been standing there for a few seconds.

Fox let out a startled _yipe_ and complained, "Not you, too!"

Peppy chuckled and Fox scowled at the old hare. Still with an upside-down grin, he turned to ROB.

"Could you repeat that, ROB?" he requested.

"UNIDENTIFIED VESSELS APPROACHING AT SEVEN O' CLOCK," the robot said. "COMMENCING IDENTIFICATION AND INTERROGATION PROCEDURES IS HIGHLY RECOMMEN-"

"I know!" Fox strode over to ROB and switched him to 'mute', then tapped several buttons on the bridge's main console, initiating the surveillance camera.

A screen emerged from a compartment in the ceiling and lowered itself, so Fox and Peppy could easily watch what was going on outside the dreadnought.

Fox heard a furious whirring and turned to see ROB spinning his metallic appendages at breakneck speed.

"What's your problem?" Fox snapped. "Just say it... oh." He reached out, switched ROB back to normal and instantly regretted it.

"MUTING IS A VERY DANGEROUS PRACTICE. ESSENTIAL COMMANDS AND INFORMATION MAY BE MISSED," the robot screamed, still allowing his parts to move at a thousand revolutions per minute.

Fox pinned his ears down from the horrible din and even Peppy yelled something out unintelligible in desperation.

"Can it, stupid robot!" Fox exclaimed, diving for the 'mute' switch again.

ROB 64 rotated himself so that Fox missed the switch by a claw's length. However, he did not speak again.

"What are you up to?!"

"Finally, he shut his metal maw up," Peppy grunted in disdain, crossing his arms and frowning at ROB. "We should get Slippy to fix him."

"UNIDENTIFIED VESSELS APPROACHING GREAT FOX AT SEVEN O' CLOCK," ROB repeated, reminding the other two of their dilemma.

"Alright, alright!" Fox sighed. He pressed a few buttons on the console. Static appeared on the screen for a moment before it cleared up, revealing the sight of two ships heading towards the mother ship.

"Aren't those Venomian?" Peppy asked, looking closely at the planes on-screen. The figures in the cockpits were not identifiable.

"I would have thought you needed glasses by now."

"Fox..."

"I'm kidding!" Fox held up his paws in a plea for peace. "But they do look Venomian. After all, we're still near their planet. I'll see who it is."

He fiddled with a few more buttons and set up a communications line with the two anonymous vessels.

"The pilots of the pair of Venomian ships approaching the Great Fox must state your identity, and or purpose," Fox spoke to the screen. "We have plasma cannons on our mother ship," he added, "and we possess the right to use them on anything we deem hostile."

"Don't shoot!" one of the pilots shouted frantically. "We come in peace!"

"Fox, it's us," the other pilot said.

"Who's 'us'?" Fox inquired.

"You know me, don't you?" the second pilot exclaimed. "And him of course." Fox imagined this speaker gesturing towards the other pilot.

"Who are..." Fox trailed off. The voices sounded strikingly like...

"It's Falco and Slippy!" Peppy cried jubilantly. He pointed towards the pilots on-screen.

Fox stared at the Venomian ships for a long time and blinked in realisation. One pilot was blue and the other was green.

"Hey, you made it back in one piece!" he shouted.

"Of course," said the first pilot, Falco. "...Well, as you can see, our ships didn't."

"What happened?" Peppy asked.

"We'll tell you when we get there," Slippy replied.

"Alright," Fox said. "I'm going to drop the comm line. We'll open up the hangar for you. Just come up to the bridge afterwards."

"Yes sir," Falco gave a fake salute.

Fox shut down the line and the screen, then turned to ROB, who had thankfully kept silent.

"Open the hangar bay," he commanded.

"CONSIDER IT DONE," ROB said, moving towards the console to do the job. Fox left the robot to prance metallic fingers over the keyboard.

"It took them long enough," Peppy grumbled. "What in Lylat were they doing?"

"They said they lost their Arwings, remember?" Fox reminded the hare, tapping him on the forehead. "So they probably had to bash some heads in to get those ships."

"Oh yes."

They pricked their ears to a soft beeping to let them know that the hangar was opening to let Falco and Slippy in. After another minute or so, the bridge's automatic door parted to reveal the two pilots.

"You're alive!" Fox exclaimed in somewhat mockery but still managing to keep some sincerity in his tone.

"In the flesh," Slippy remarked as the vulpine proceeded to giving both of them welcoming slaps on each of their backs. "Ow!" He rubbed his sore shoulder.

"Whoops."

"What happened down there?" Peppy demanded the two late arrivals. "I was worried sick and Fox was practically frothing at the mouth because he was-"

"I was not!" Fox yelled over the top of Peppy, whom in turn had started chuckling.

"_I'm kidding_."

"Yeah," Falco said. "If ya were doing that, we'd have to keep you and your rabies tied up somewhere until we found somewhere to drop ya off."

"I _wasn't_-" Fox began.

"We know," Slippy interrupted.

"So what actually happened to you guys?" Peppy insisted, dismissing the 'rabid Fox' exchanges.

Falco took a breath, before explaining, "Basically, we ran into some odd jammers down near Venom and our ships were rendered pretty much useless."

"We landed badly," Slippy continued, "and busted our ships. Obviously, the locals wouldn't have leant us a hand because they're _Venomian_, so we left the Arwings and stole some Venomian ships."

"Whoa," Fox said. "How'd you pull that off without getting your heads blasted off?"

..."It's a crazy story," Falco replied slyly, sneaking a sideways glance at the frog next to him. Slippy stared at him, then found that his wings were behind his back.

And they were crossed.

*.*.*.*.*

Kain sprinted down the corridor, careful not to run into the other Venomians. He scowled at the communicator around his wrist that was flashing an angry red. It was like a mark of shame, one he didn't want anyone else to see.

Nobody liked the 'troublemaker's sigil', as it was called at this particular base.

As if catching his train of thought, a mocking "Oooooh" echoed from behind Kain. He growled quietly to himself in response.

Kain nearly bowled Falco and Slippy right over when he rounded the next corner.

"Tori, Baka, thank goodness," the wolf puffed, doubling over to catch his breath. "I've been looking for you guys!"

"We never moved because you told us to stay here until you returned from your little 'session'. You're gonna blow a house down at the rate your going," Falco joked, then turned serious. "What's up?"

Kain took a deep breath and looked straight at the two. "Do you know what this is?" he asked, holding up his flashing comm for them to see in all its crimson splendor.

"It's your wrist comm," Slippy answered lamely. He paused, then added, "It looks like somebody forgot to put a seizure warning on that thing."

"It's the 'troublemaker's sigil'," Kain said frankly.

He was met with a pair of blank looks.

"The what?" Falco asked.

"Troublemaker's sigil," Slippy replied, earning a nod of confirmation from the Venomian. "What does it mean?"

"We were busted," Kain said.

Falco and Slippy were silent until it dawned on them.

"Crud," Falco cursed.

"W-Who found out?" Slippy stammered. "How did they find out? What's going to happen to us?"

"Calm down!" Kain yelled over to top of the frog, cutting off the stream of anxious questions. "It's not as bad as you think. We just have to go and fix something."

Slippy's composure immediately returned, "Fix something?"

"Yes, my mechanic friend," Kain answered with a nod. "It'll probably involve corrosive substances, the handling of live wires with our bare paws and abseiling down the throat of a fire-breathing dragon, but otherwise it shouldn't be life-threatening or emotionally traumatising."

"Do you realise what you just said?" Falco muttered, though not loud enough to be picked up by the wolf's pointed ears.

"When do we begin?" Slippy asked eagerly, rubbing his green hands together.

"The boss said we're meant to start at twenty-three hundred hours," Kain explained. "Weirdly enough, we're not repairing the damage _we_ caused."

"Okay," Falco interjected, "I 'ave two questions. One: is this 'boss' the leopard guy?"

"Spot on."

"Two: who's fixin' our crap?"

"The boss didn't mention who, actually," Kain said, stroking his chin. "I suspect it's whoever busted the simulator, which is the thing we're meant to be repairing."

"A simulator?" Slippy exclaimed. "Is it one of those complicated ones?"

"Nah, it's a piece of cake...when you have twice as many men working on it at the same time."

The frog's face fell, then reverted to its higher state. "I guess a challenge is good!"

Falco was startled by the idea and didn't like the sound of this fixing business. "I'm no mechanic," he complained. "Why can't this 'boss' get a robot to fix the simulator?"

"You could call this 'community service," Kain replied. "It's a mercy, though the base doesn't have the resources for complicated robots anyway."

The trio descended into awkward silence, occasionally glancing at the many passers-by.

Slippy looked at his own wrist comm and pressed a button. He groaned.

"It's only six o' clock," he said to his comrades in crime. "We're got a lot of time to kill, haven't we?"

Thus, they began the mind-numbing, five-hour wait.

* * *

**A/N: BEHOLD, the next- albeit short- chapter!**

**Remember my author's note for the last chapter? ...Well, it's better if you forgot :/**

**This time I ran into a legitimate writer's block. I had no idea what Falco and Slippy were going to do next for about two weeks, which was about the time I started to get worried. I didn't want to write anything really lame. So I finally resolved to brainstorming on paper and miraculously thought of this. Then I procrastinated while I worked on my other story.**

**But better (horribly) late than never, right?**

**Honestly, I don't know when the next chap will be up, because I'm going to have to adjust to a bigger (home)work-load leading up to the beginning of school at the end of the month, and I've done barely any _holiday_ work I was given O.o**

**This doesn't mean _hiatus_, though. At this point.**


	5. Putting in Place

Slippy's wrist communicator read 10:59 p.m. and Kain hadn't returned from fetching himself and the two 'new cadets' some food to chow down on.

"We should have gone with him," the frog whined as the two of them waited in the empty corridor. "Then at least we wouldn't be standing here, boring ourselves into oblivion and hoping that he hadn't gone insane in the small period of time that we decided to ditch him." He promptly caught his breath in a big whoop.

It took Falco a good minute to process Slippy's plethora of speech.

The comm struck eleven.

"Weren't _you_ the one that suggested that we stay outta the crowded areas?" Falco recalled. "I distinctly remember you sayin'," here he put on an impossibly high voice, "'Nonono, we should stay back before we get lost.'"

Falco dropped the girly pitch and continued. "And then Kain asked 'why not familiarise yourselves with the _obviously_ sublime services of this here Venomian base?'" The avian assumed his impersonation of his green-skinned comrade once again. "You said 'we'd rather go somewhere less crowded first'. And then I complained that I agreed to no such thing, which you responded to by jabbing me in the side with your elbow. Then I-"

"Stop it, please Tori?" Slippy begged miserably, trying to drown out the unbearable noise of Falco's incessant squawking.

Falco snickered but respected the request to remain silent.

An ash-coloured shape suddenly barrel-rolled into their view and nearly rammed straight into Falco. Some smaller brown shapes fell to the ground at the feet of Falco and the disheveled grey shape.

"Do you do this all the time?" Falco snapped to the newly-appeared Kain, whom was on his knees to gather his dropped items.

"I make sure that it's a daily routine," Kain replied smugly, standing straight before shoving two of the brown shapes into Falco's arms. "I got some food for you two, as you requested." He flashed them a toothy, satisfied smile.

"Thanks..." Falco said in a distracted fashion, curiously opening the paper bags to take a peek inside.

Slippy shuffled over to claim one of the bags that Falco was holding. However, the bird swiped them out of his reach.

"Nope," he teased the frog.

"Give me one!" Slippy cried, making a mad grab for one of them. Falco stood on his toes and dangled the brown bags just out of Slippy's reach.

"You'll drop them," Slippy pouted, "and then we'll _both_ be sorry."

"Okay, I surrender," Falco admitted, grinning slightly. He dropped one of the bags into Slippy's open palms. The bag's recipient immediately wrenched it open to investigate its contents.

"It's not that mediocre, if I do say so myself," Kain said proudly, striding over to survey his companion's reactions.

"What did you get, Tori?" Slippy asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Frogs legs," Falco answered flatly.

The amphibian nearly lost his head right there and then.

"You got _WHAT_?" he shrieked.

Falco began laughing obnoxiously, earning him a scowl of realisation from the frog.

"You didn't, did you?" Slippy deadpanned as he crossed his arms.

"Hey," Kain hollered unnecessarily loudly, "I'm really enjoying this banter at the moment, but if we don't get working soon, the boss is going to come stomping down the corridor any second."

As if on cue, the ominous sound of footsteps made their way down to the trio.

"And it's not going to be pretty. So I'd advise that you'd get your butts out of here ASAP."

The duo was already gone.

"Wait a second," Kain yelled, pursuing the fleeing frog and pheasant down the left fork of the corridor, "you're going the wrong way!"

*.*.*.*.*

The wolf guided them down the right fork. As they walked on, the lighting diminished until their wrist communicators gave the only light that reached them. Falco's blue one and Slippy's green one hummed away happily, but Kain's 'troublemaker's sigil' was threatening to burn a hole in their eyes.

"Make it stop," Slippy groaned, rubbing his eyes feverishly.

"Even I'm gettin' ticked," Falco muttered, obviously annoyed. "Wait a little longer and I'm gonna smash that thing right through the wall."

"I hope you'd take it off me, first," Kain said. "I don't want to have a bandaged wrist after tonight."

"We'll see."

Kain chuckled nervously, then exhaled.

"We're here," he announced, halting in his tracks.

Slippy and Falco, pre-occupied by schemes on how to eradicate the hyperactive red flashing of Kain's comm, bumped into the walls on either side of the heavily padlocked door that stood before them. After recovering from the momentary shock, they backed up.

"Behold," Kain went on, "the door to the simulator room." He raised his arms in mock amazement. "Step through this and you will be subjected to several hours of torturous labour and electric shocks. Any last words, young grasshoppers?"

"Do ya know how cheesy you sound?" Falco asked the wolf. His question went unanswered.

"Why are there so many padlocks?" Slippy wondered, peering at the seven or so contraptions that barricaded the door.

"Extra security measure," Kain replied, bending over to unlock the door as Falco scowled darkly in the corner. "Everyone knows the combinations, though most people around here aren't bothered to open them all. They figure they can reap more fun in dunking each other's heads in vats of coffee, putting worms in their food and swapping each others' comms as a practical joke."

"Uh huh."

"They don't know what they're missing out on."

"So, you actually have friends here?" Falco asked, making sure he was audible this time.

"I'll take that as an insult," Kain pouted, though his smirk betrayed him. "Yes, two of them in particular. A raven and a husky.

"Come to think of it, I haven't seen them all day. I wonder where they went?"

Falco and Slippy shrugged off Kain's verbal thinking.

The final padlock finally clicked open. The lupine exhaled loudly, gathered up his courage and took hold of the door knob. It opened with an eerie creak.

"_Aaaaaaggghhh_!" Kain shrieked, stumbling away from the door in terror with his ears pinned back.

Falco started screaming his head off as well and Slippy nearly fell into a dead faint.

Nothing happened. No lasers, no ambushes and no undead demons burst out of the darkness beyond the open doorway. As soon as Falco realised this, he glared venomously at the culprit, who was doubling over with side-splitting laughter.

"You should have seen your _faces_!" Kain spluttered in between gasps, struggling to keep on his feet. "I should have brought a camera!"

"I hope your getting on with your job, Private!" a holler echoed down from the other end of the hallway.

Kain snapped his jaw shut, sobered as much as was physically possible and muttered, "Yes, sir."

Slippy sniggered uncharacteristically.

"Frickin' stalker," Kain added more quietly, turning towards the doorway.

"The walls have ears, Iyne!"

Kain growled under his breath but held his tongue. He motioned for Slippy and Falco to follow him into the simulator room. He flipped a switch and the room was flooded with light.

The space was unremarkable. The only thing occupying the few square metres of floor space was a huge object that reminded Falco of a child's science project.

"So this hunk of junk is the simulator?" Falco said, closing the door behind them.

"Yep." Kain leaned on the metal box and gave it a friendly pat. It promptly hiccuped and coughed up a small firework of sparks that nearly caught the lupine in the face. "Yikes!"

"You know, you're meant to survey the safety of your surroundings before jaywalking right next to it," Slippy scolded Kain, who had backed away from the simulator and was brandishing a wrench that he'd pulled out of some unknown pocket.

"Thanks for the heads up... three seconds late."

"Frog-Boy just wants ya to step away from the thing," Falco said.

"Alright, alright! Give me a second." Kain distanced himself from the broken simulator. As he did so, Slippy observed the piece of technology with his trained mechanic's eye.

"Judging from what happened just then, there must be at least a few busted wires in the simulator," Slippy concluded aloud.

"'At least'?" Falco asked distastefully. "You mean there might be somethin' else screwy with it?"

"It's highly likely."

"How do you know this? I've never seen ya fix a simulator before."

Slippy looked at Falco crossly. "This is my forte and... I just know things, okay?"

"Okay," Kain said on Falco's behalf.

The avian shoved him, causing him to stumble dangerously close to the simulator.

"Hey!"

Slippy yawned loudly, then said, "Guys, let's get started on this thing before we fall asleep on our feet. Please?"

"What, haven't those nights I've kept you up to watch horror movies trained you to stay awake?" Falco teased.

"I can't say I appreciated those times," the frog grumbled, then shuffled away behind the simulator and out of the others' ranges of vision.

"Wish I'd been there," Kain said wistfully. "Though I've done that with my friends, too. I remember it now: we'd sit there, watching the scene, totally enraptured and anticipating the next fatality. Then, a shadow would flick across the on-screen wall and then _BOOM_-"

The lupine was interrupted by a _crash._

"Sorry!" Slippy squeaked, his head popping out from behind the simulator for a second before disappearing again. Over the sound of clanking he complained, "But can you warn me before you do that sort of thing?"

"What were you doing, anyway?" Falco asked Slippy, as Kain moved over to help the amphibian carry whatever it was he had dropped.

"This genius found a conveniently-placed toolbox on the floor," Kain answered as he appeared with said object in his grip.

"Yeah. How would we fix the simulator without tools?" Slippy added.

"You tell me," Falco replied.

Kain laid the red-lidded toolbox on the floor and opened it, revealing its ordinary contents. He suddenly growled and started fiddling with his wrist comm, which was still blinking.

"I've had it with this thing," he muttered, finally managing to wrench it off and fling it across the room. It slammed into the opposite wall and slid to the floor, lying dejectedly where it landed.

"That's something we can all agree on," Slippy said, rummaging through the toolbox and then holding up a screwdriver. He observed the toolbox before adding, "I think we can manage this with the tools we've got."

"Great," Kain beamed. He walked up to and circled the rectangular simulator with a paw on his chin.

"Got any idea where to start?" Falco asked.

"Somebody seems to have tampered with the panels over here. Some of the screws are loose and there are wires hanging out everywhere."

Slippy frowned. "Either somebody tried and failed to fix it before us or they deliberately messed it up."

"Either way, the problems are fixable."

"Thank goodness," Falco breathed. "For a minute I thought this would involve some overly technical jazz or mind games."

Kain's face fell. "...It does."

"Stop messing with me."

"I think we should actually start now," Slippy contributed, getting frustrated.

"Yeah, Falco," Kain accused.

"You were the one-" Falco started explosively.

"_Now,_" Slippy boomed over the top of the avian.

Falco and Kain shut their mouths and got to work.

*.*.*.*.*

Fox pushed open the door to his bedroom and switched on the light. He swept his gaze around the room, checking for the slight possibility that one of his wingmates had moved or stolen something without him knowing. Satisfied with the result, he threw off his flight jacket and flung himself onto his bed, staring up at the ceiling. He would never admit it, but he had been more than relieved when Falco and Slippy had returned from the mission without a scratch.

_THUMP._

Maybe he should take back that thought.

He swung his legs over the side of the bed and strode out into the dim corridor, obviously irritated.

"Falco," Fox said, spotting the avian a small distance down the hall.

"Agh!" Falco spun on his heels, then visibly relaxed. "Oh, it's just you."

"Who else would it be?" Fox folded his arms.

Falco remained silent.

"What were you doing?"

"I just ran into the wall," Falco answered quickly. "It's dark, y'know."

"But you always brag about knowing this ship back-to-front, inside-out and pulled into a black hole." Fox chuckled.

"Ha, yeah..." Falco laughed as well, but it seemed forced.

"Is anything worrying you?" Fox asked solemnly. "...Did something else happen today that you didn't tell us?"

"Of course not," Falco replied.

"You don't have to hide anything from me. I understand if you wouldn't want to tell Peppy, but you're my friend. We've been through a lot of stuff together."

Falco stared at the floor, then said, "I'm fine, Fox. Big day, that's all."

Fox cracked a grin and clapped him on the back. "If you say so. Now go to bed before Slippy and Peppy start complaining." He gave his comrade a shooing motion.

Falco smirked and turned, continuing slowly down the corridor. The vulpine watched on a little longer before retreating to his room again.

He walked through the doorway and sat on the edge of his bed, replaying the scene that had just happened.

_Falco isn't usually that flustered, even after a mission,_ Fox thought. _And Slippy isn't usually that collected, either._

_It's like they've swapped bodies somehow._

He paused on that thought.

"Nah," he muttered, shaking his head to himself.

*.*.*.*.*

Dexter, still in his azure-feathered disguise, struggled not to run into the wall again as he made his way to his accomplice's 'bedroom'. He opened a door to his left and stepped into the room, where Max was already waiting for him.

"Finally,_ that's_ over," Dexter breathed, reverting to his real appearance.

Max waved his arms about in a panic and whispered angrily, "You _idiot_! There might have cameras. And the door's still open!"

Dexter fumbled with his device before turning back into Falco and closing the door quietly.

"Thank you," Max said.

"How long do we have to keep this up?" Dexter demanded. "McCloud just interrogated me!"

"Does he suspect?"

"I don't think so. He was talking to 'Falco'."

"Then that's alright," Max reassured the canine. "I think three days should be enough to keep up the ruse. Then, we'll bail out without them knowing."

Dexter thought for a moment, before asking, "Why did _I_ have to be Lombardi? Wouldn't it have been more fitting if _you_ were him, considering you're a bird..."

"Shut up," Max snapped. "We're not here to discuss my logic."

"Oh, are we really?" Dexter teased.

"Stop it." Max took a breath and continued, "What I wanted to say is we have to have evidence that we were here, otherwise we won't be believed when we return to the base."

"Good point," Dexter agreed. "So should we keep our video recorders on our comms on?"

"Exactly. Don't turn it off unless McCloud and Hare start to notice."

"Roger." Dexter fiddled with his wrist comm. A soft beep marked the beginning of the recording. He waved into the camera and said, "Hi."

Max switched his on as well. "Okay. From now, familiarise yourself with the ship as much as possible, so our acts don't seem off."

"Yep."

"You can leave now."

Dexter focused his comm recorder on Max and crooned, "Say hello to the camera."

"Stop acting childish and get out of my room," Max said in annoyance. "You're making too much noise."

"Fine, fine," Dexter conceded. He waved goodbye before moving off to 'his' room.

*.*.*.*.*

"And... there!"

Slippy stepped away from the simulator and marvelled at the panel he'd just finished screwing back into place.

Kain nodded approvingly, while Falco stared at the ceiling.

"This would be much easier if we had an electric drill," the avian complained. "It's eleven thirty."

"Oh well," Kain replied. "At least it hasn't been that bad so far. Too bad we've still got lots more places to fix up."

The rooms's light flickered, then two second's later, none of the three could see anything.

"_Come on!_" they cried in unison.

* * *

**A/N: Hey guys! *is crushed by displeased readers***

**Oh boy. A few weeks ago, I re-read the first four chapters and thought, "...This is really lame." Loss of inspiration for Prime Minister -.-**

**Sorry to anybody who's been waiting on this. I got caught up with my other multi-chapter fic, and when I did find the motivation, I got caught up in the mandatory end-of-term rush of exams 8D**

**I really don't have an excuse for not uploading this back in February or even March. Eek, I'll try harder next chapter, but no guarantees. **

**But enough of that. We should be approaching the 'climax' in less than three chapters! Yippee...?**

**And to those readers who also read SSB fics: maybe you could check out the poll on my profile... maybe ;)**


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